Boundaries & Communication

 

Being close with your spouse is the most important key to a successful marriage in my opinion. The majority of people have gone on dates or dated other people before dating their spouse. The problem that we have in this day in age is those strings are still attached to previous people in past relationships. I think that is wrong in so many ways because once you are dating someone very seriously you should focus on you and your relationship and become best friends. It is good to have friends, but the person you are dating, and your spouse when you get married, should be your best friend. When you marry the person you are supposed to marry, there are going to be a lot of changes and things to get used to, but those are the times where you come together and communicate and help each other out on the things you are struggling with. Having boundaries within a marriage is a good thing because it helps build and strengthen your marriage. The reason it is important to be best friends when you are dating is because it helps you gain trust and safety, and that makes it so you confine in each other. Being best friends in your marriage makes it easier to problem solve and resolve conflict because no matter what you love and trust each other. That trust and safety gives you that reassurance that you can feel loved and safe with your spouse, and you know that you can talk to them about anything.  Having boundaries that involve letting go of past relationships and letting go of some friend relationships, especially with the opposite gender, is so important when you are married. When you do not have these boundaries there are so many problems that can happen. If you do not talk to your spouse about the things that are hard in your marriage and you talk to other people of your past you are breaking that bond and you are opening yourself up to bigger problems. This is where affairs and infidelity happen. It is so important to talk to your spouse when things are hard because you know that even though you are having a hard time you can always trust and feel safe with them because you are best friends. You should never be talking badly about your spouse or the hard things you are going through in your marriage with anyone. Marriage is hard, but is the most rewarding thing you will ever experience; therefore, you should value your spouse and be there for them. I don't understand why people feel the need to talk bad about their spouse, there should be nothing bad to say about them. You should never feel the need to betray your spouse in any way. There are some people who are in danger in their marriage, but that is not every marriage. It makes me so sad when people have affairs and feel the need to be dishonest and commit adultery on a variety of levels. Your marriage should be a place where you can talk openly about anything, no matter what. I know that I can talk to my husband about anything, and that is because we became best friends when we were dating and let go of past relationships and built that trust and safety. I think it is so sad that the world we live in does not take marriage seriously, it makes me sick. You should always build your marriage, not destroy it. Your marriage is so sacred and a gift from God, therefore you should put forth the effort to build it rather than destroy it. My husband is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I will always be grateful for him and all he does for me and our little family. 

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